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How to become a social magnet. How to be popular. How to improve your soft skills.
Have good listening skills
A human has two ears and one mouth, our listening must be more than our talking. Listening does not mean to wait impatiently for the other person to finish so we could talk, true listening is when we understand precisely what is being said without interrupting. If you can do that, I give you a thumbs up because you are a special person with good social skills.
See the good in people
Seeing the good in people is not an easy task, it requires sincerity, open-mindedness, tolerance, and an understanding of the causes of one’s own thoughts. Prejudice is a tyrant, so if you can slit the throat of prejudice then you surely can see the good in people instead of being a scavenger and feeding off their weaknesses.
Be sincere
Sincerity is the toughest and the most rewarding social skill, because like attracts like, if you truly and sincerely care for the welfare of the other person whom you are interacting with, s/he will inevitably have a liking towards you. You can not sincerely see the good in people without seeing the good in yourself, the law of cause and effect, to do something on the outside it has to be done in the inside first, if you constantly insult others with foul language, that means you are insulting yourself silently with foul language (when you speak to yourself in your mind), did you ever ask why people say “respect yourself” ? that’s because a person who does not respect people does not respect himself (notice the way you talk to yourself in your mind) You will rarely feed a pet if you are starving, so you should feed yourself first with respect and sincerity consequently you will be able to feed others. (first inwards then outwards)
Be consistent
People are attracted to those who are consistent in their actions, if you say hello to a person one day and the other day you don’t, you are more likely to be distant from that person. A real life e.g: one day I went to the grocery store, I got used to greeting the owner of the store who works there and apparently he got used to it too. This one time I was in a hurry so I rushed inside his store and headed towards the refrigerators without even looking at his side. After I picked up my items and I approached him to pay, he looked at me angrily and he spoke to me in an aggressive tone and he shook my hand and was greeting me, as if he was saying “why didn’t you greet me today?”
I figured out it really does matter to give attention to people, it matters to them. Everyone craves for attention.
Being consistent means to avoid mood swings as well; one day you are happy joking and laughing with every one, the next day you are completely the opposite.
Have confidence
People are attracted to others who have unshakable confidence. (not the fake weary confidence that can easily be spotted)
Confidence comes from a person’s understanding of his own self.
Do not argue for the sake of arguing
Arguing is a mental battle, would you go and have a fist fight with your friend everyday? I’m sure you wont, then how come you don’t mind having a mental battle? In my opinion; psychological trauma is worse than physical trauma. Just as a physical wound might injure the skin and leave a scar, even arguments can inflict psychological scars which can hardly be healed. So it’s better to avoid an argument whenever you feel that it is about to begin.
Control your anger
Anger is a way of expressing your refusal for a circumstance. Remember that getting angry is all in your head. people enjoy the company of those who make them laugh and happy, but they do not enjoy the company of angry people, no angry boss ever succeeds, no angry teacher ever is listened to by his/her students, no angry parent ever is loved by his/her children.
Einstein says: “Anger only dwells in the bosom of fools”
It is absolutely natural to become angry, Anger and fear are nature’s way of helping us stay alive, in the face of danger you fight or flee. But to become angry too often is not good for your physical and social health.
Be positive
Expect the best out of your circumstances, be positive, have a positive attitude, people tend to avoid those who complain and whine too much, and accompany those who are positive and expect the best out of life. Avoid being negative.
How to change a habit quickly and easily. How to eliminate a habit.
Habit is what shapes our lives, a person is a millionaire or a homeless beggar, because of habit.
Habit is what differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people. Observe the people around you and you will discover the soundness of this fact.
Your environment feeds you with habits and it reinforces your habits. It is one of the reasons parents are so afraid to let their children befriend “bad kids”.
If you have a goal in life and you are aiming to achieve greatness, then you must accompany yourself with people who possess the habits of that person who you want to be.
It takes 21 to 40 days to change a habit (smoking for e.g) all you need is decision.
Ones you decide to get rid of a habit everything will come smoothly.
But if it was that simple everybody would be successful isn’t it? the secret lies in the differentiation between a wish and a decision.
If you are overweight you will look into the mirror, and whisper quietly in your own mind, “I need to lose that fat” but once you turn away from the mirror you whisper in your own mind again – more silently – sometimes without your awareness – and you say “well its fine anyway I’m still alive”. This occurs due to your lack of understanding between a decision and a wish.
Have you heard the song airplanes by B.O.B? If you focus with the song you will find a very noteworthy lesson.
“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars”
You can sit in an open area and stare into the sky, and whenever you spot an airplane, think of the airplane as a shooting star and make a wish. There are many airplanes out there right? so whatever wish you have will come true! now we all know that’s not gonna happen. But if you DO take a decision and stand firmly by that decision, MIRACLES WILL HAPPEN, similar to a person who sees an airplane 200 years ago – will think that an airplane is a miracle, well guess what? it IS a miracle! even the light bulb is a miracle, these miracles could have never happened unless if it was backed with a firm decision and a burning desire to attain it. These inventors understood – one basic law which the majority of people neglect to understand, it is the ability to know oneself and to stop for a second and ask oneself, the thing that I want – is it merely a wish or a decision?
If you want to become wealthy, is it a wish or a decision? if you want to lose weight, is it a wish or a decision? if you want to become successful, is it a wish or a decision?
We wish for thousands of things everyday, we become overwhelmed with our wishes that we fail to differentiate between those that matter and those that don’t.
Once you have taken the decision, you have set the path, the objective will be achieved as long as you hold your decision firmly.
Some practical tips to get rid of a habit:
Sit in a quiet and relaxing position, imagine yourself vividly, that you are becoming what you want to become, and see yourself, visualize, and imagine doing the things that you want to do. Try to use all five senses while imagining.
The nervous system does not know the difference between fact or fiction, it’s all in your head. when you go to the movie theater and watch a horror scene, although you know what you are seeing is not real, you still panic. The movie directors are playing a trick on your nervous system and are making money out of it, similarly you can play a decent trick on your nervous system and make it believe what you want it to believe.
How?
By the use of imagination. Go to google, and do a little research on “imagination” and you will come to realize that the secret behind all the powerful and successful people in the world lies in their ability to utilize their imagination.
Imagination should also be a part of our lives – a habit.
We have forgotten that all the answers to our problems lie in our own heads, take smoking for instance, there is a product out there that helps you to quit smoking and you know whats the funny part? it’s a patch! a goddam** patch!! apparently its a sticky thing that can be applied on the skin and it sucks the nicotine out of your body! unbelievable! people actually fall for it! they are becoming lazier and lazier everyday, and the owners of these consumer products are aware of this fact, and the other thing that they are aware of, is that the problem lies in our heads, what this patch actually does it gives you a motive, something to make you trick your own nervous system into believing that this patch actually works, but in reality it is YOU WHO IS MAKING IT WORK.
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